Rules that Toddlers live by...

I found this on The Mommy Blog, so I wanted to share the cute-ness.

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be removed.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it is open, it must be closed at maximum strength, hopefully it will make a BANG, if not, try again.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it is a pen, it must write on the wall, monitor, or sister.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone, as slow as possible and touch everything I come across.
If Mommy ignores me, I must scream it louder, she obviously didn't hear me.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be used to clog the toilet and then used to wipe the mirror.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force. Getting soaked earns bonus points.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it, unless grandma is on it and wants to chat, then it must be abandoned immediately.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.